Monday, September 29, 2008

The weirdest story ever

Standard question: Where do I start?
Standard answer: At the beginning.
Because that makes what I am going to relate most digestible and, as I hope, you will be laughing together with me. Because this is basically so absurd that I have had a hard time stopping myself from grinning whenever I think about it.
But first things first. Long ago I met this girl at the ranch, Emilee. We chatted for a bit, she was interesting. None of the usual overdone costumes, just a next-door girl kind of avatar: nice face (aren't they all nice? hmmmm), jeans and sweater. Quick mind, sharp wits, had spent a year in Gor and left, I think, because she got bored with it, was missing the challenge (right, Emilee?). Let me think, what was her profile like at the time...I dimly remember something witty and ironic, appealing in any case.
And then, two weeks ago, I met another one like her. Madi is an ex-Gor kajira (slavegirl) starting over on a new account. She reminds me of Emilee in practically everything: style, brains, Gor, sarcasm, even her rl profession is, if I'm not very mistaken, the same as Emilee's (and yet, she's quite different). I have to say I like Madi and I could easily imagine taking her under my wings. In fact we had *almost* closed the deal.
However, RL has a mind of its own. Madi has been laid off and, understandably, that seems to have killed her appetite for SL. Haven't heard from her in a week now :(

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Pathetic, awkward

I guess there is no other (fitting) word for that last post and when I think of what I have written there, my toe-nails involuntarily curl up. However, it helped me a great deal to write down all these thoughts and feelings. Ever since I have been a whole lot better. I am definitely moving on now.
And it seems as if I might really do something that has been in the back of my head ever since these things with Bambi (yes, I'm not afraid to put that name here now) happened. I might try and get a slightly more formal training. After all I have never really had that, since I had around zero luck with the few mistresses that I tried. So, after weeks of struggling with my profile I have now put in that I just might be ready for the right mistress. And....*rolls eyes* earlier I was talking to Latexia *waves* and blurted out that I feel kinda drawn to her (which is true in a way I cannot really explain, and yes, we have really not talked that much, but somehow there is something about her) like a little school-girl *blushes fiercely* Weird.
Oh and btw: I have decided to leave my beautiful new parcel in Nani Cove and sell it.... don't have the energy to make it beautiful right now.

Monday, September 8, 2008


/me writes the name "Bambi" on the blackboard. This, ladies and gents, is our topic for today. Bambina was my slave for five months. I met her in early March at the Ranch, the poor girl couldn't even sit down. I tried to help her and have done so quite often, whenever she was facing some trouble with sl.
But that's not really important, is it? What is important is what went on between us. Well, it seems she had had a few bad experiences then and was looking to give herself in a serious d/s relationship. I had never done that before, but was willing to take on a challenge. And a challenge she was...not exactly the easiest sub i have dealt with. However, we got into the relationship and it got better the longer it lasted. Until she went off for her five-week holiday. We had (i think) a verrry good last time then, took her off to some ballroom dancing, because i wanted to make a lasting impression. Then ....weeks of more or less nothing. I did play for a few days with someone, whose name i have now forgotten, it ended in a less than pleasant way, but apart from that i was making use of the time on my hands, sold my house because of my unpleasant neighbor and after a while got a new place. When bambi finally got back i was not even prepared for it (one day early too), i was busy building and setting up the new, much bigger place. So, I am sad to say, i did not have much time for her. She seemed to take it well though and we only met occasionally for a few day. On the fifth day i decided she deserved a treat and i a break from building. So we met at Clara's and just as i was setting the scene, she came out with it...
She asked for release.
Said i wasn't teaching her anymore and one or two more things...had met someone new. Then we even got interrupted by a phone call. A few days later we talked again and it turned out that she had felt un-welcome, if i didn't want her anymore. However, she hadn't told me any of that before, not before it was too late. So she went just the way i had (i'm sure of that!) told her not to go, to come to me if she had a problem so we could discuss things and allow me to improve or change things. Sure, it had never been easy for me, not being an experienced domme, at least not in a long-term thing, and i had contemplated more than once releasing get more freedom for myself. But the thing is, I get attached as we all do, and especially over a space of almost half a year of daily meetings and talks... Yes, i admit i felt and still do, cheated - it will take a while longer to get rid of that bitter aftertaste.
A few days later i saw from her profile she had gotten collared again and took her off my friends list. Had a last talk and said good-bye.
/me wipes the blackboard clean.
trying to move on, have to anyway.

On the upside ...from what i have learned about her new mistress i guess she has found just what she was looking for. Good luck, bambi.
/me throws sponge into the basket, sits down and tries to clear her mind of unpleasant memories...
This entry is meant as a final point in saying good-bye. I hope that i can now really move on.
Released her on Aug, 31.

Sunday, September 7, 2008


So I have lost Bambi a week ago... and last night lost another "friend", who couldn't handle what I shared with her *sigh*. Somehow right now nothing seems to work and I have to say I feel bad about this. Oh and my new neighbors in the water sim seem to like to draw up fences - there are several nice places, but I can't even go near.... ugh. Maybe I should leave SL or start over, as so many do... Right now it seems quite attractive.

About Me

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I have been sub, I have been domme, I have a penchant for hypnosis, I have been up and I have been down. But I am always and most importantly - me. Kind, sensitive, loyal and yes - kinky.