Sharing is caring

That thought just struck me when i was talking to someone...
Yes, I realize there are many in SL who don't want to know too much. They are afraid to hear about other people's sorrows and pains, because they don't want to be a part of it. I cannot condone an attitude like that, I have been around for a long time now (yes, call me old-timer if you will) and I have seen more than one rl drama unfold before my own eyes. And it makes me sad when I find that people prefer to close their eyes before other people's misery. If you are one of them, ask yourself how you would feel if you had things that you want to share with someone and then find that they don't want to hear about it...

Yes, it is painful to hear about people breaking over losing their child.
Yes, it makes my toes curl up when someone tells me that they are suicidal (and possibly manic) and have had a suicide attempt or even several, and I find it scary big-time when they blurt out that they are not willing to play death scenes, because they want death so much.
And finally yes, it is very bad when you hear that someone has cancer....and some time later find out that they have really passed away.
Fare thee well, Katara. I was not your most faithful friend I am sorry to say. But you are in my heart and I will not forget about you.

The weirdest story ever

Standard question: Where do I start?
Standard answer: At the beginning.
Because that makes what I am going to relate most digestible and, as I hope, you will be laughing together with me. Because this is basically so absurd that I have had a hard time stopping myself from grinning whenever I think about it.
But first things first. Long ago I met this girl at the ranch, Emilee. We chatted for a bit, she was interesting. None of the usual overdone costumes, just a next-door girl kind of avatar: nice face (aren't they all nice? hmmmm), jeans and sweater. Quick mind, sharp wits, had spent a year in Gor and left, I think, because she got bored with it, was missing the challenge (right, Emilee?). Let me think, what was her profile like at the time...I dimly remember something witty and ironic, appealing in any case.
And then, two weeks ago, I met another one like her. Madi is an ex-Gor kajira (slavegirl) starting over on a new account. She reminds me of Emilee in practically everything: style, brains, Gor, sarcasm, even her rl profession is, if I'm not very mistaken, the same as Emilee's (and yet, she's quite different). I have to say I like Madi and I could easily imagine taking her under my wings. In fact we had *almost* closed the deal.
However, RL has a mind of its own. Madi has been laid off and, understandably, that seems to have killed her appetite for SL. Haven't heard from her in a week now :(

Pathetic, awkward

I guess there is no other (fitting) word for that last post and when I think of what I have written there, my toe-nails involuntarily curl up. However, it helped me a great deal to write down all these thoughts and feelings. Ever since I have been a whole lot better. I am definitely moving on now.
And it seems as if I might really do something that has been in the back of my head ever since these things with Bambi (yes, I'm not afraid to put that name here now) happened. I might try and get a slightly more formal training. After all I have never really had that, since I had around zero luck with the few mistresses that I tried. So, after weeks of struggling with my profile I have now put in that I just might be ready for the right mistress. And....*rolls eyes* earlier I was talking to Latexia *waves* and blurted out that I feel kinda drawn to her (which is true in a way I cannot really explain, and yes, we have really not talked that much, but somehow there is something about her) like a little school-girl *blushes fiercely* Weird.
Oh and btw: I have decided to leave my beautiful new parcel in Nani Cove and sell it.... don't have the energy to make it beautiful right now.

Bambina

/me writes the name "Bambi" on the blackboard. This, ladies and gents, is our topic for today. Bambina was my slave for five months. I met her in early March at the Ranch, the poor girl couldn't even sit down. I tried to help her and have done so quite often, whenever she was facing some trouble with sl.
But that's not really important, is it? What is important is what went on between us. Well, it seems she had had a few bad experiences then and was looking to give herself in a serious d/s relationship. I had never done that before, but was willing to take on a challenge. And a challenge she was...not exactly the easiest sub i have dealt with. However, we got into the relationship and it got better the longer it lasted. Until she went off for her five-week holiday. We had (i think) a verrry good last time then, took her off to some ballroom dancing, because i wanted to make a lasting impression. Then ....weeks of more or less nothing. I did play for a few days with someone, whose name i have now forgotten, it ended in a less than pleasant way, but apart from that i was making use of the time on my hands, sold my house because of my unpleasant neighbor and after a while got a new place. When bambi finally got back i was not even prepared for it (one day early too), i was busy building and setting up the new, much bigger place. So, I am sad to say, i did not have much time for her. She seemed to take it well though and we only met occasionally for a few day. On the fifth day i decided she deserved a treat and i a break from building. So we met at Clara's and just as i was setting the scene, she came out with it...
She asked for release.
Said i wasn't teaching her anymore and one or two more things...had met someone new. Then we even got interrupted by a phone call. A few days later we talked again and it turned out that she had felt un-welcome, neglected....as if i didn't want her anymore. However, she hadn't told me any of that before, not before it was too late. So she went just the way i had (i'm sure of that!) told her not to go, to come to me if she had a problem so we could discuss things and allow me to improve or change things. Sure, it had never been easy for me, not being an experienced domme, at least not in a long-term thing, and i had contemplated more than once releasing her...to get more freedom for myself. But the thing is, I get attached as we all do, and especially over a space of almost half a year of daily meetings and talks... Yes, i admit i felt and still do, cheated - it will take a while longer to get rid of that bitter aftertaste.
A few days later i saw from her profile she had gotten collared again and took her off my friends list. Had a last talk and said good-bye.
/me wipes the blackboard clean.
trying to move on, have to anyway.

On the upside ...from what i have learned about her new mistress i guess she has found just what she was looking for. Good luck, bambi.
/me throws sponge into the basket, sits down and tries to clear her mind of unpleasant memories...
This entry is meant as a final point in saying good-bye. I hope that i can now really move on.
Released her on Aug, 31.

Disappointments

So I have lost Bambi a week ago... and last night lost another "friend", who couldn't handle what I shared with her *sigh*. Somehow right now nothing seems to work and I have to say I feel bad about this. Oh and my new neighbors in the water sim seem to like to draw up fences - there are several nice places, but I can't even go near.... ugh. Maybe I should leave SL or start over, as so many do... Right now it seems quite attractive.

Time is fleeting

Or at least, so it seems. Today I realized that Bambi is due back in about ten days - wow, where did the time go? In the meantime I have sold my house and am now going to colocate with Clara. She sort of invited me to stay at her and her (missing) slave's place. So far I haven't done much except put up some sort of a little garden for her and her dogs to enjoy. Today I started looking at houses that I picked up somewhere, but as yet I haven't made up my mind as to what exactly I want. Also the garden has eaten up a lot of prims so I might end up having to save again. But if things will go as planned I might soon get a parcel neighboring hers and we should then be able to have a little more space - and prims.
About taking another slave - no, it doesn't really seem so. I have been on little lately and accordingly, that is not making things easier. And in fact, except for the little episode with Sacha, what was her alt again... I haven't played with anyone at all.

Updates, updates

So.... my little girl Bambina is on a five-week vacation *ugh for me, but thumbs up for her*. She's gone for one and a half weeks now I think, so still way to go. I have decided to make use of the time and try to find another addition to my household. So far nothing has turned up, though I sort of have a sub, but our online times don't seem to match too well, so I'm more like a keyholder to her. Right now I'm also talking to Ling, who might be just the right girl, but so far we haven't been able to talk much.
Also I have taken down the house and started to build a new one. Had an awesome inspiration for a throne room the other day, when I visited Winter Ventura's Eclectic Randomness. In fact I pretty much stole her idea and so far mine looks like an identical copy of hers - a pitch black room with a pool of light centering around the throne. She also has this awesome (and huge) picture of a completely restrained slave dressed head-to-toe in black rubber. I asked her where she got it and was even able to give me a copy of it - so yay! The only problem is that my build now really looks like an almost identical copy of hers - we even have the same throne.
Oh, and my neighbor pissed me off again... messaged me about the new build to complain that I was polluting the neighborhood - more on that soon in a big post that will be entirely devoted to him *grins* Watch out for that one.

hello slave!

Hilarious....
I was at the Bondage Ranch, dressed up in Mistress gear and wearing the tag too. My viewer went bing! and I received an IM. Clicked the tab to read it and read the words "hello slave". I found this quite amusing, checked the profile of the person who sent these words and found some bla-bla like "YOU WILL SUBMIT TO ME!!!!!!" (imagine some mad scientist laughing in the background if you will). I decided to send an appropriate answer: "/me laughs" and started searching for the avatar in question. When I found her, I burst into real-life laughter: The wanna-be mistress was in almost perfect slave-gear, wearing cuffs, collar and, I believe, gagged too. Too bad, she disappeared shortly after that. I would sooooo have loved to give that Missy a proper tongue-lashing and of course missed the chance to take a snap. Damn.

Get Frisky!

God, if you're into progressive electronic music like I am, you just gotta L O V E Friskyradio. On my last visit to the website today I stumbled over the mini-player they now have and thought "What the heck, the two readers of this blog might find it cool. I do anyway.

Some reading for your pleasure

For the past ten days or so I've been almost glued to the tales of Richard Alexander, detailing his oh-so-erotic adventures at a bondage establishment called Bilboes somewhere near Brisbane. Very imaginative, very kinky, at almost epic length and so much fun to read. Try it, you won't regret it.
You can find it here.

Taking a slave

Oh my, I don't really know where to start with this update...so much has happened. Maybe it's best to go back, way back in time (and I wonder, where did I steal that line?) and pick up those threads that I started earlier. Mistress Feliciti has again left SL ... this time for very personal and understandable reasons and may or may not return. Only time will tell.
Justine has become something of a ghost, I'm sorry to say. As far as i can see, she logs in like once a month for two hours and that's it. Since we also have a 12 hour time difference to cope with, I have sort of written her off :-(

The biggest and most interesting bit of news, however, is that in March I have collared a young French girl, Bambina. She is a true and dedicated, but inexperienced submissive who wants to learn and go deeper and deeper. Guiding her is not too easy, but well worth the effort. And I am learning along with her, every day.
In fact it is a new experience to have a relationship that close and demanding. I admit I have thought of giving it up more than once, but so far we're still walking together and might do so for quite some more time.

Shame, shame, shame

Ahem, I realize I haven't updated in almost six months now. That's too bad, because my SL has been full of interesting developments - and they're not at all bad! Will update asap now - including pics - stay tuned!

The mother of all updates

Wow, 2008 is starting with a bang!
First of all, on Dec. 24 I met Justine, now my dear pet and a lot more. Collared her on Jan 15 and I think we both love it! She is such a sweetie and a very devoted sub, just wish we would get more time together so I can really make her do what she needs to do, and that is serve, not only me, but also others ;)
Then, a huge surprise for me... A few days ago my old and long-lost mistress has returned to SL. I admit I was shocked at first, suddenly it seemed my life in SL was getting a lot more complicated. Last night though we finally got a chance to talk at some length and it's all good now. Although we still have to find out if we still work out together, we are still very close and in the end I offered her to take ownership again - and she did, without hesitation. Mmmmm, yummy. So as of yesterday I am collared again.
Next is my new job. I have started working at Kayliwulf, where I model some of SL's hottest latex fashions every day now.
And finally I have today taken on a new sub, my dear friend Lilia. And yes, to kick it off, we had a very nice scene. She may be a little sore for a few days, but I'm sure it is a good kind of aching ;)

Timelock

As some of you may know, I've been dealing with self-bondage for a bit and although I hardly get to do it in RL, I'm always curious about this fascinating subject. And today I stumbled over this *rolls eyes*: http://time.lockedalot.com
Check it out, it's devious ^^