Chili subs... not

Hmmm.... ever since Mistress went missing (and to be honest even before that) I hardly get to sub anymore. For a sub switch that's quite unfortunate, but well, what can I do? Go on searching I guess...
It's just that I find it hard to do. For one thing I hate putting myself on the "Meat Market", as I call it. That means putting on restraints and assume a submissive pose in one of "those" places , especially the Bondage Ranch, until someone takes interest. Or approach a potential Mistress of course. That's how and where I met my very first mistress, and to be honest, it was a total failure. (you can read about that in "The Mistress Thang. pt.1") Also I simply find it hard to approach someone and ask them to dominate me, since I am basically a rather shy person. And when I do, it often results in failure.
For example I met this domme/mistress at the Bondage Playground. I approached her and she seemed mildly interested. After a bit of fiddling, because I stupidly didn't even remember how to kneel for her (I had already stopped wearing my collar at the time, which would have made it easy, since this is loaded with animations), she gave me one so i could at least assume a decent submissive position for her (have a load in my inventory, but just didn't think right then). But when she discovered I was still owned she lost interest, saying she didn't want to be accused of stealing slaves (hey, a new owner was not on my agenda then, i only wanted to have a little fun) and since I didnt't really feel that good with her, I stopped it then and there.
Another time I approached a different mistress and it felt quite nice talking to her. However, in the middle of our get-to-know-you conversation, she poofed (got kicked out of SL as happens frequently) and didn't return - ever. It was only a short while ago that i discovered she hid from me (yea, turn off visibility on the friends list, ugh, how i hate that). Oh well.
As far as i remember my real Mistress returned soon after that, but was only on at times when i couldn't make it, except for a few chats. Soon after that she disappeared for the second time and hasn't returned since (yea, all that will be in part 2 of The Mistress Thang). And when she disappeared i also went into hiding for a long while and barely got out of the house except to meet friends occasionally.
Next is/was a switch I met at a store (oh, how i love chance meetings like that; these always seem to turn out the most interesting, hehehe). We found us to be quite compatible since she's also into latex and into a sensual kind of bdsm. So we became friends and had a good time together. Playing we only managed once, and i have to say it was a very nice scene - god, that Realrestraint blindfold is a real pain in the neck since that last update, and she had me sweating in rl trying to accomplish basically easy movements blindfolded (there is a tiny hole that allows interaction, but since the update it's no longer located in the middle but on the bottom of the screen and when you click there, sl's camera jumps and you have to readjust it every single time, duhh) the only drawback was that it had to end a little prematurely... However, shortly thereafter she got collared by her favorite dom and had some problems with her comp. Only now it seems she's no longer interested in playing or - for the most time - even talking to me. For now, I keep that under unresolved issues, but I hate being ignored...

Edit, 9/12/07:
Issue resolved. I sent her a long IM, and I have to admit maybe it was a bit rude - not on intention though. Anywas, she was right in my face, furious, saying she had never promised to be my babysitter, kicked me off her friends list and muted me all in one go.
Alright, I can live with that. :)
The only drawback is that this post has now grown even longer.
Dear Reader, I vow to be shorter in future ;)