Sunday, October 14, 2007

Feelings

This draft was almost forgotten until I went through my archive today. It is being posted for the sake of completeness here.

Isn't it strange how deeply the goings-on in SL affect you in RL? Maybe not directly, but emotionally. I know, there are some - or is it many? - who really only play around, have fun and if something is not the way they want it, drop it. Next!
Well, guess I'm a little different. Knowing that I am interacting with real people with a wealth of experiences, opinions and very different ways of doing things makes this a very personal experience for me. And so, if something good happens I find myself being elated in RL too. But the same is true if something bad happens.
Like last night when I was waiting for Mistress to return. Went off to go to a store, should have been back soon. So I waited, played around with a few things to keep me entertained and ... waited. For a full hour. Then out of sheer boredom I started talking to a friend in IM. And suddenly it dawned on me that I was really pissed off, frustrated over being kept waiting so long. Waste of time. So I logged for the day and went to bed, only to find myself still in a pretty bad mood when i got up in the morning. Darn, that's not how I want my SL to be.
And now at the late Saturday evening I'm still entertaining bad thoughts. Somehow I feel trapped, not wanting to cross Mistress and yet, knowing she's not around for the whole weekend I feel I can't do what I really want to do, play. After all, when I play it might end up with some sex. Most of the time it won't, but there is a definite chance it might. And I'm not allowed to do that. Great.
So all I can do right now is wait... and wait. For that darn time when Mistress might finally have more time. What did she say... disgruntled or antsy. Yes, I guess that describes pretty well how I feel right now.

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About Me

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I have been sub, I have been domme, I have a penchant for hypnosis, I have been up and I have been down. But I am always and most importantly - me. Kind, sensitive, loyal and yes - kinky.